You DON'T know what a broom is??!!?

Many of you know that I'm sort of in the middle of an 'ongoing home remodel'. I bought the house that I wanted. Don't get me wrong. It's the ideal location (right off the freeway). The ideal size (2400 sq. ft.). Has the ideal interior features for me and my boys (4 bed, 2 bath, formal dining and living, family room, large kitchen, enormouse yard on a corner lot). A STEAL of a price. You get the picture. My perfect home. Well, perfect except for this $%&*# flooring. I mean look at it.




WHO in their RIGHT mind puts THIS kind of tile in their home?! (and I'm not talking about a small room. I seriously have 1600 sq. feet of this crap!) Sick. Gross. Ugly. Enough said.

Anyway, as you can see...we are clearly in the process of chipping it out. That entry way is the worst of it. Most popped out pretty easy. Not really complaining too much. Anyway...getting back to the purpose of this post. I was chipping more out tonight and Chase was being my little helper. (Yes, this sounds GREAT in theory...)

He was standing about 2 feet away from my bright yellow broom. I asked him to HAND me the broom so I could sweep up a nasty pile of little chipped tile.


"This?", he asked?



"No Chase, the BROOM.", I replied.

He then pointed to an orange bucket. Nope Chase. Wrong again. THE BROOM. My BRIGHT YELLOW BROOM. The kid was freakin clueless. He doesn't know what a broom is yet? I have seriously missed the boat!

But, No time like the present to get him started, eh?!



I put him right to work sweeping! That kid NOW knows what a broom is. Of course, it didn't take him long to realize he was NO FAN of the broom....



Welcome to my world Chase, welcome to my world.

WHAT did you JUST say?!

Okay, this isn't all that exciting... but I was TOTALLY taken off guard. Many of you know Chasey has a high pitched little voice. Yes, this is odd coming out of such a husky 2 year old...but none the less, he definitely has a soft sweetness to his voice. ANYWAY....

We were driving home tonight from Aunt Tenille's house... Of course I had my XM radio blarin'... But all of a sudden, Chase says...

WHAT THE HELL mommy?!

In my mind I'm thinkin' HOLY CRAP! What did my 2 year old just say to me? I've been dreading this day...

I turn back and look at him and say: WHAT?!

He then points out his dark window and says: The Hill Mommy. (Yeah... the freeway has a hill. He typically points out the trees, but tonight, it was a hill.)

RELIEF! I am so NOT ready for my baby to be asking me What the HELL mommy?! Yes, he is STILL my sweet, little (yet husky) two year old dude. THANK HEAVEN!

Dating after Divorce.. in case you were curious.

OK. Some of you may think I’m kidding, but I assure you I am not. I thought I would give you your chuckle for the day. I sort of sat back lately and wondered WHAT IS UP with all the available losers on the market today?! I’m serious. TONS o’ LOSERS. Just to give you a glimpse into ‘life after divorce dating’, I’ve compiled a list of the general traits/qualities of the guys that appear to be ‘lookin’ for love’ these days. All of these are real. I’ve experienced each at least once.

So, let’s assume I start out with a guy that is relatively attractive (at least he is to me), and decide to go on a date with them. Go ahead and select 1 quality, from each of the sections. A total of 3. This will show you the type of guy I come across frequently. You can mix and match these...but at a minimum, select 3. This is seriously the dating pool I’m working with…. For the most part. Don’t get me wrong. Every now and then, I come across the guy that only has like 1 or 2 of these going for him… but in the end, I’m holding out for someone that really has none of this crap in his life… Maybe it’s asking too much??? Personally, I don’t think so. I’m BUSY!

SECTION 1
1. They have 5 plus kids. Now, yes… we may have been told to ‘multiply’ and replenish the earth. I, however, can not (WILL NOT) EVER be a mother to THAT MANY kids! I am BARELY a good mother to my two boys. How on EARTH would I manage a ‘Brady Bunch’?!
2. Married multiple times, each ex wife bringing her own special brand of ‘crazy’ to the table.
3. Restraining Orders or massive misdemeanor activity on their record. – Yes, I know how to find this out. Seriously, you’d be surprised what guys curiously ‘forget’ to mention when you are dating…
4. Very vague when responding to questions about why they got divorced. RED FLAG. I typically interpret this as a ‘porn addict’. Most fess up if they’ve been unfaithful… SO, it leads me to the other conclusion if they don’t really want to divulge the reason for the split.
SECTION 2
5. Propose marriage on the 2nd date. YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME. Surprisingly, they can’t figure out WHY I’m just not that into them by the 2nd date… peculiar, I know.
6. Major debt – and clueless about how to climb their way out. Don’t get me wrong, I know 90% of guys get royally screwed in a divorce. I guess I can understand living on credit… a little. But come on...if you are carrying tons of it 5 years after the divorce…there just ain’t much hope for you.
7. No long term goals – no vision for planning for retirement (trust me, my 401K can’t support us both for 20 years!)
8. Can’t afford the 10$ a month to subscribe to the dating site. Look, if you can’t find 10 bucks in the couch cushions…chances are, you can’t afford to take me on a real date.
SECTION 3
9. Big fat bald guys looking for a super model. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the pickiest chick on the planet…but I’d venture a guess and say that if you are 5’9 and 275 pounds, you have NO BUSINESS expecting a 5’3 size zero super model to be ALL over you.
10. Decide to stalk you, even though you’ve made it clear that there is not, and never will be, ANY HOPE for a future between us. This has only happened once…but man, how blunt do you have to be to get them to QUIT?!
11. A guy that posts one little fuzzy picture, but demands you send him at least 15 shots of yourself, from every angle, in every light setting... I mean give me a break dude. You are OLD AND BALD. I have 12 pictures up as it is. It’s NOT ME that is being less than forward about who I am.
12. ZERO personality. One guy seemed okay on the phone...but dang, he was as dry as a chicken that’s been in the oven for 12 days. BRUTAL.
13. They have some variation of the following:
a. No Jobb. Lost their job recently (which they only had for a few months anyway)
c. Earn minimum wage, pay it all to the 2 ex wives in child support for 5 kids
d. Still trying to decide what they want to be when they grow up (*most are already 35+ years old)


This is just the tip of the iceberg folks. I’m being dead serious. It never ceases to amaze me though at the poor gene pool I’m fishing from for my future companion…

So, there you have it. This is why you should NOT expect a relationship out of me for quite some time. Just haven’t committed to settling at this point.

If you happen to know of a new pond to fish from though, please, do tell.

My first born....

I got tagged on facebook, but I'm so not into that. I did answer the questions though, so thought I'd share. Don't worry. Won't tag anyone else. If you feel inclined though, feel free to publish your survey too! :) It was kind of fun reliving the memory of my first born though.

Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself!

Let's see how much you remember!


1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes!

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Yes, married in February 2003, pregnant in late December.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
SOOOOOOOO excited. I was ready (or I thought I was) to be a mom!

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
Nope. I respect people’s right to choose, but I personally could never fathom doing that to such a sweet, innocent being.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
28!

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
I remember it was New Years Eve. Scott and Tenille were over at mine and Matt’s house for the evening to celebrate. It was close to midnight and I had a pregnancy test upstairs. We had been trying for a few months, so I had tests on stand by! Went upstairs and took the test. Sure enough… it appeared to be positive. The next morning, I took another one and there was no doubt about it. I remember we called our families right away!

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
Man, I have a bad memory. I don’t remember if I told Scott and Tenille or not, while they were there that night. I do remember calling my mom the next morning and calling Matt’s mom. Both were extremely excited for us!

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Of course! I had my heart set on a baby girl. Needless to say, my little dude arrived 9 months later. 

9. DUE DATE?
Yikes. September 11th! Terrorist baby!

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
For the first 8 weeks or so, I had horrid nausea. After that passed though, things were all good.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
French Fries and Ranch Dressing. MMMMMMM

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
I’m pretty sure Matt danced on every last nerve I had.  I was pretty dang grouchy. He even called his mom to talk about what he should do to deal with me! Apparently, I was someone he did not recognize when I was pregnant! Glad those days are behind me for sure!

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
Boy. Little bouncy baby boy.

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
Oh yeah, it was bad. Crying during the ultrasound even.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
30.

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Yes! My sister Natalie was in town from PA and we had a huge shower. I think we had about 20 of my dearest friends and family come. We even let Brett Noble come…even though NO BOYS ALLOWED.

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
No surprises for me. I hate them. Plus, I hate games. We did NOT play games at my shower. At least I didn’t!

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Uh, that one stretch mark that appeared in my 8th month was a miserable complication! UGH I was induced 2 days before he was due though. He wasn’t growing and neither was I and the doctors were a little nervous.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
The absolute WORST hospital in Arizona. Chandler Regional. Would NEVER go there again, even if I was holding my own heart in my own hand in the parking lot… I would hitch a ride to ANYWHERE else.

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
Induction started around Midnight on Sept. 9th. Water broken around 6am, then again at 8:30am because apparently it resealed?! GROSS. Anyway… in labor until 4pm when they told me I needed a c-section because the baby’s heart rate was dropping.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
My mom took me in, and Matt met me there an hour later

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Just Matt. C-sections are not a pretty site.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
C-section

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
Uh, they asked me if I wanted an epidural at 8am on the 10th, and you KNOW I took them up on the offer.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
6 lbs 15oz

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
September 10, 2004 6:30pm

I wouldn’t trade Wyatt for anything in the world. Love that kid!

I kid you not....

Most of you know that my little dudes share a room. Sure, we have a 4 bedroom house, but why on EARTH would I let them destroy more than one room of it? Exactly. So, yes, they share a room.



Tonight, I'm gonna be honest. Didn't do a fantastic job of feeding the kids. Honestly, I remember a few pieces of cheese, a pickle.. tons of milk. That's the extent of it though. NOT MY FAULT. I offered them some sort of food, they just didn't take me up on anything - and eventually I got buried in taxes and totally forgot about eating.

Well, It's 8:14pm and Chase is crashed. Dead to the world. ASLEEP. Wyatt just finished watching 'Little Saints' - a church knock off of 'Baby Einstein' that Wyatt apparently LOVES. ( - thanks to Grandma Crisp - )

Wyatt came in to request a new movie... and then decided MAYBE he was hungry now for some chips. No sooner had he said the word chips ((NO, he was not talking loudly), did Chase roll over, shoot up and say "Chips? I want some chips!". Dang, that kid has a ONE TRACK MIND and some killer hearing.

One other thing I'm not entirely proud of... yes, they are both now in bed, with a little bowl of chips.